Make it clap

Make it clap like encore
I’m not saying you’re a whore,
but if you want to be one for like 10 minutes its cool
We can see if your ass is bilingual too

hit it and quit it

Don’t ever have a bone sesh to John Tesh
It’s like Liberace for old folks
I could take tokes between strokes
Either way, thats shit’s tired

Ear Muffs

I wear your thighs like ear muffs
the hair between you legs provides a slight tickle on my nose
in the dark I feel like Jacque Cousteau, probing the yonder
lapping like a dog with a bowl, I quench your thirst

Don’t Get Cut

cock is a tumescent
saber
throbbing, shivering in anticipation
between his legs
waiting to cut into gut of a passing bird

Everybody Wang Chode Tonight

The fairy tale said kiss a toad and you’ll get a prince
So I licked a chode and tried not to wince
I guess tossin’ salad would make anyone tense
Props to wang sauce
I haven’t been up for air since

Cockapoo

To clear things up,
When my mouth was full of cock
I didn’t say I love you.
I said
You smell a bit like poo.

- Sissy Shamrock

Like a Good Neighbor…

Please, sir, may I borrow a cup of dick?
Naturally, ma’am, it’s the neighborly thing to do.
Any chance sir has some cheese I can take?
If you don’t mind waiting, I should have some soon.

-(moons over my) hammy

Thinking Outside of the Closet, You Bet

Let’s go ahead and agree that these “Kone” Dirt Devil hand vacs bear an uncanny resemblance to butt plugs. The Dirt Devil PR house says that the company is, “…thinking outside of the closet – literally.”

Can’t they just announce that the Kone designer, Karim Rashid is gay? No probs with that, but a glance at Rashid’s site might mean the new movement in design is a direct reflection of the New York designer’s sex life. A toy and a vacuum? How utilitarian of you.

-jeffo

Stank Love

Sometimes I put in the tip to take the temp,
and sometimes I put four fingers in to see if it fits.
If red tide is out, use caution in rough waters.
Some guys use a boat, but I’m a good swimmer.

-jeffo

Dick in a Box

Fuck dick in a box.
I hate broke down cocks.
Put that shit in a shredder,
and give me all your motherfucking cheddar.

-coco